I'd like to take this opportunity to welcome you to 1995. Yes this is a momentous occasion, its hard to imagine that 1984 was over a decade ago! can you believe it? We live in this strange futuristic society now, you might even call it a brave new world. And what of this madness called the internet? I can't even imagine how it works? where are all the information tubes at anyway?
Oh but why am I telling you all this, you obviously have a handle on things, after all you have a website right? Isn't this great? I mean seriously man. Now that we have all these internets we don't need to waste all that paper that we used to print all of our news stories on. Of course those darn tree huggers are gonna like that, but even a good-ol conservative boy couldn't argue about that one right?
The best part about all this technomological stuff is all of your writers can finally start writing stories that are more than two paragraphs long. Maybe even if you're lucky all your readers will start having thoughts that are more than monosyllabic grunts! Oh gosh i'm sorry that was a doozy of word there "Mo-no-syl-la-bic" yeah, that means like, the opposite of "UGH", its kinda like the opposite of this thought "Nuke the F*ers!", what? oh just forget about it.
So yeah, now that'cha don't have to worry about all that paper, you guys can actually write a story that has more than one fact in it. maybe even if ya get good 'nuff at it, you might even think about sending out a reporter, to actually report something.
Yeah, who'd a thunk?
Ps. Oh yeah forgot to tell you 'bout something. you see that funny colored word up there in my text? yeah thats called a "Link" those internet guys use 'em all the time to do stuff on these internets, LIKE REFERANCING FACTS YOU F-ING MORONS! GET YER HEADS OUT OF YOUR A**
1 comment:
Why you aren't writing a column or articles for some political or current events humor mag I don't know. You a F*cking funny as hell sometimes.
Hey, maybe USA Today is hiring..
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